The Balladeer
by luvjOi
Summary: Waylon tells a different story and falls in love.


Hello folks, you're just in time. See that car over there barreling down the road? Yeah the one with the orange paint job. Of course I don't really need to tell you what that car is, you already know that's there the General Lee. Which then you would already know Bo and Luke are behind the wheel. The Duke boys are being chased by Rosco, Hogg had him set up a speed trap for what seems to be millionth time, and by had, I mean he forced him to. Rosco had wanted to take the day off, but Boss being the greedy man he is, decided they weren't getting money so he called poor Rosco in and here we are.

Just a typical Tuesday in Hazzard, and coincidentally enough today is actually Tuesday, but that's besides the point. Bo and Luke are being chased by Rosco in what was normally a 55 mph zone, but the new sign had it be 45. Boy I tell you i wish the Dukes and the rest of Hazzard county would see Rosco for how smart he really is. That whole corrupted thing is just act he puts up whenever he is on the job. Deep down he wishes he can be as serious and a good of a Sheriff as he once was.

Oh? What that you ask me? You don't have a clue what I'm going on about? Well hang on tight folks and listen cause you'll understand by the time I'm finished here. I guarantee it. Now to get back on topic, the Dukes are being currently chased just like every other day, and now i know what you might thinking, there is trouble heading for them. Just like every time you come tuning in here and wanting to hear another story about the Duke boys. See you're smart like that, you figure this time is going to end up like all those other times, the Dukes finding themselves in some sort of situation, there will be a chase involved and then the obligatory happy ending,

Well as you know by now I'm not just old Waylon Jennings the famous, well known outlaw country singer from Texas, I'm Waylon Jennings the Balladeer, a storyteller. And a storyteller worth his salt would know when to spice things up, give the viewers a surprise when they least expect it. It's one of them plot twists and folks this here is a plot twist. You're ready for it? I might hold onto to your seats if I were you. There is no trouble coming this time for our boys in Hazzard. You heard that correctly. No robbery, no cons, no hijacking, no kidnapping a-coming. Nothing except the usual speed traps and the like. This is a rare, rare event indeed. Surprise? I bet y'all staring at the tv screen all wide eyed and wondering how can that be? Yeah I figured, I'll give you a minute or two to compose yourself.

By now you're also probably wondering "Waylon, if there isn't any trouble heading their way then what kinda tale are you gonna tell us?" Well y'all are sounding more impatient than Boss waiting for dinner at a restaurant. Let me first clue you in as to what I want to tell you tonight with a simple question.

Have y'all ever wonder how I seem to know most everything that going on in Hazzard County?

Judging by the look on y'all faces I don't think you even thought of that before did you? You mean to tell me y'all never stopped to wonder how I seem to know the major details of whatever going or how I know shit about the folks of Hazzard county? Heh I would bet right now some of you are pretending you did know, trying to save face, but it won't work. I know y'all lying. So just hush up before y'all embarrass yourselfs further. Now granted I may not know some of the tiny details, and if you've been following the adventures of Bo and Luke Duke, you know these adventures are more about them then the others, but even then I still know more about ya then what the average person would.

Now y'all are thinking about it ain't ya? See I'm like Sherlock like that, the British guy that can deduce and know things about you on first glance, Differences is I have better bedside manners and I use my ability for storytelling purposes. There is another major difference between me and Sherlock, he is just naturally highly intelligent. Me, heh, I'm more omniscient. Yeah you heard that right folks, I'm omniscient. Something the rest of y'all can't really do, but don't fret I'm not using it to harm anyone. I can take one glance at you and know enough about you to probably unnerve the hell out of you admittedly. You don't really believe me? Well how this for proof, you know what I said about old Rosco earlier? I knew he was developing a crush on yours truly before he even realized it. Now he's living at my place down here in Hazzard County with me, and has been for almost a year.

And speaking of Rosco, he is also the only one that figured out what I can do. And that my friends brings us to what I want to tell you tonight. The story of how Rosco became the only folk in all of Hazzard to find out who I truly am; a rare somebody that can find out everything about you at first glance. Its pretty rare that you'll come across someone like me, so much in fact that most people don't really know this ability exists. There are other rare abilities people can have, but those are for another story for another day.

The story begins about a year ago, I had just moved in here to Hazzard County. I figured it would make the most sense, I have many friends down here, especially the Dukes, and I wanted to see them more often. Plus the place being the way it is with most ever weird thing you can think of happening, well I felt like a person with omniscient powers like me would fit in, even if no one really knows about it. Hazzard was and still is like a second home to me. Of course the Dukes were excited about my moving down there, hell everyone was once they heard that old famous me was gonna live there. There was a huge commotion and everything, Hogg wanted the whole town to throw me a welcoming party One, was because he is also one of my fans, two, he saw it as a way to gain money by charging folks an entry fee.

Between you and me I was kinda hoping to attend the welcome to Hazzard County dinner Jesse wanted to make with just me and them, but knowing Boss Hogg, this didn't really surprise me one bit, so I just went along with it. In hindsight I'm glad it happened, because otherwise I would've never know Rosco as anything more than Boss right hand man. The information that started coming into my brain at full force when I set my eyes on him near the entrance when I had arrived with the Dukes was enough to give me a headache. It was contradicting the view most of Hazzard had of him. I was pretty interested enough to find out more. I guess it's like finding an interesting murder case to solve for Sherlock. Only in my case there wasn't any murder.

Now let's pause for a quick second, y'all may be wondering why I didn't get all of this the last time I visited Hazzard? Simple, I ignored my ability because I didn't want it to get in the way of seeing the Dukes and sharing my museum with the town. Sometime this wonderful power of mine can feel like a burden and a nuisance sometimes because I would get all these random info just flying about right into my head, and I just want to be able to focus and have a good time with my friends or doing a show. Which speaking of, I have gotten damn good at tuning out those kind of things from my audiences. Some things are better off not knowing about someone. That and I didn't want to get a migraine from all the personal details of tons of people coming at me at once like a swarm of bees chasing ya.

So I was getting a headache, and this kind of headaches wasn't anything I wasn't used to. Usually these would sent a surge of sudden throbbing pain before subsiding after a minute or two. Luke asked me if I was alright and I told them it was just an unexpected headache. He offered me a tylenol, I told him it was fine since it was fading away to a manageable dull ache by that time. I took a second to look at Rosco again and made a mental note to investigate further. The headache was done gone out the door when I followed Bo and Luke into the party a second later. I had gotten enough details from Rosco from that short amount of time to have my interest piqued. Not in a stalker way, but more in a, "I want to get to know him better" way. And I did feel that way, especially when one of the details was that he was having a crush on yours truly.

The party was big and grand, well as grand as you could get in Hazzard, lots of people and fanfare. I did have a good time chatting with the folks and signing a few autographs. And of course catching up on things with the Dukes. All of this didn't leave much time to think about Rosco, much less go up to him and make more than small talk. I wanted it to be just me and him anyways. Which brings me to a couple of days later when I was taking a walk through town, just exploring the town, getting to see the city up close. I just got settled in and finally had a day where I can relax and take advantage of the break from singing and making music. And since I had about two weeks I reckon why not put my plan in motion.

If you've been following along and clever enough to see where this is going, you know I would end up deciding to spend that day walking around and observing people after slipping a note in Rosco's police car inviting him to dinner with me at the Boar's Nest. I couldn't really help myself folks, I wanted to find out more about that man. I mean apparently he had been putting on a facade to Hazzard County all these years. He wasn't the corrupt Sheriff everyone thought he was. Now that I think about it, I always did felt a vibe from him that he wasn't what he seems to be, and I mean that in a good way, not something akin to some villain in a horror story way.

Plus he was easy on the eyes. Still is matter of fact.

It was easy to slip the note onto Rosco's car, I found it parked outside the police office. I knew he won't be running out anytime soon to chase the Dukes because as far as I know the Duke boys were working on the farm and I had no sense of any trouble about to start.

And that's the other thing about me, I always seem to get a sense of upcoming trouble for those I know real well and care about, like the Dukes and Hazzard in general for instance. How else would I know about every robbery or con and whatnot happening that the Dukes have to solve. And it happens so frequently there's never a dull moment in this place. This place is interesting for someone like me.

I put the note underneath the windshield wipers telling him to be at the Boar's Nest at 7 for dinner with my initials. I then went to take a stroll around to kill the time before going back to get ready. I let my powers do its thing and take in all the random details about random Hazzard folk that'll pass me. I would get the usual things that's universal, cheating, love, stuff about their job, friends and family….just pretty much what you expect in life. Or course sometimes the things I find out about are darker than others, like criminal stuff. And that just doesn't stop at Hazzard, there are a quite a few people down here that are hiding secrets.

I usually write down these kinda stuff among other random things I found out about down into a detailed journal for my eyes only. Most of the content of that journal however is a dated chronicle of each adventure the Duke boys have about every week or two. I even gave each one a title, like Strange Visitor to Hazzard, Jude Emery or Mary Kaye's Baby, I found it helps keep the entries organized so it won't become confusing. It's only the first few pages that I write down random things on.

I'll skip ahead a bit to the dinner with Rosco, I was dressed up in my usual; the hat, shirt, black vest and jeans, and boots. Rosco was in his casual clothes and boy was I glad to see him in something other than his uniform. Truth be known that was the night when I realize there may be something more developing on account I found myself staring at him a second too long. But I just had to see now did I? It could've been a fleeting crush for all I know.

I could tell he was looking a bit nervous, unsure of what was going on. After all a guy like me had invited him to eat. I don't blame him, I think he was even a little starstruck too.

"Hello Rosco, you made it," I greeted as I sat down across from Rosco, I remember I flashed one of them friendly smiles at him.

"Well of course I did! I wasn't gonna let this opportunity pass up. A famous singer like you inviting me to hang out," Rosco paused for a second at this point, I can tell he was trying to figure out the situation. He just wasn't used to people actually wanting to be friends with him and getting to know him better. He was used to being nit picked ten ways to Sunday.

"Heh well same here. I figure since I'm gonna be living here when I'm not out singing, I reckon I make more friends here."

He gave me that wary look, "Wait a second, why me? Are you sure you're not cooking up something with them Dukes boys or covering for them while they rob a bank or...I don't know?"

"I'm not Rosco, Bo and Luke are at the movies and Jesse and Daisy are at the farm."

"Yeah like I believe that, you've been cahooting with them Dukes for years. How do I know you're not lying?"

"You really think they'll actually ask me to be an accomplice to a crime? I'm more liable to tell them it's a bad idea."

"Well no, but you've been close friends with them for years. How do I know there isn't some hidden agenda? A famous singer whose friends with Bo and Luke, out of the blue invites me to a bar. I had reckon you rather spend time with them."

"Rosco there is no agenda, unless you call wanting to know you better one," I replied with a casual, light smile and as soon as I said that, I could see a bit of a blush appearing on his face and his crush on me getting a little bigger, "I would like to know more folks around here. Honest."

"Well...I..um," His facade was kind breaking a bit for a second there, still confused on why him in all of Hazzard. But he got it back under control in less than a minute, "Alright then, what do you want to know about Rosco P. Coltrane?"

Right after he asked that question, sweet Daisy came up to our table and took our orders for drinks and food. I figure I have to talk about something that'll make him relaxed, at this point he was still a bit jumpy, like he was expecting me to tell him off for being the kind of Sheriff is, and to stop bothering the Dukes or else.

Heh, if only he'd knew what I can do.

"Well to start things off here, what do you like to do in your spare time?"

I can see this question of mine kinda caught him off guard a bit, "I, um, I sometimes like taking Flash out for a walk, she likes it when daddy takes her out around mama's property and down the road a ways."

"That nice, what kind of dog is she?" Of course I knew already, but old Rosco didn't know about my ability. Not yet anyways.

"A basset hound. I got her from a magazine years ago. She's the best police dog in all of Hazzard, she loves being in hot pursuit as much as her daddy!"

"Yeah, she goes with you a lot on them car chases don't she?"

"She loves them kekeke, and she also loves all the treats I give her for being a good police dog."

"Sounds like you spoil her like a princess haha."

"Oh I do, Velvet Ears only deserves the best!"

I laughed and agreed. I done complimented him next which only served to make him blush a bit, 'She certainly has a good daddy,"

I could tell at this point that Rosco was relaxing and being more at ease, and just done glad for once that he wasn't being seen as the joke of the town for once. We talked about other things throughout eating and drinking; our kin, our childhoods and etc. Even though my powers allowed me to know most of this already, I wanted to hear it from the man itself. It was like I was born completely normal and I was hearing all of this for the first time. I felt myself being taken in by this man, he was a curiosity that I wanted to figure out completely.

I was also becoming more and more attracted to him as the night went on. I realize not only do I want to figure him out, but I wanted to cuddle up with him in bed and be the one that truly loves him. He deserves happiness and love just like the rest of us folks do. I was kinda surprised he didn't already have someone to spend his days with.

We ended up talking well into the night and it was plain to see that he was enjoying my company as much as I was enjoying his. He was beginning to feel like someone is finally seeing the worth he has in him. It was safe to say we clicked with each other and my mind was telling me he was wishfully hoping this would become something more. I was feeling the same, made me sad for him that he was lonely.

By now we was done eating and just paid so we were at the door looking at each other, Rosco thanking me for that night and he told me he wanted to hang out with me again sometime.

"You said you got a day off tomorrow didn't you?"

"Yeah I do. Don't get me wrong, i love police work, but sometimes i deserve a day off."

"Why don't you come over to my place tomorrow?" I smiled warmly at him and his face lit up further.

"Really? Ooh that'll be fun! I'll love that, when should I come over?"

"How about noon? I'll cook us up a good lunch."

"Ooh that sounds great, thanks Waylon," I have to tell you folks, that man gave me the best, brightest I've seen from him. Well he continues to give me them, but that point was the first I ever done saw a smile like that from him. Seems like I had made his day.

I'll skip ahead a little bit to where me and Rosco were sitting on the couch watching tv. We just had a great lunch and we didn't really plan on anything else to do so here we are watching a western on tv. While we was watching, I was figuring out a way to make the first move, but I also didn't want to rush anything. It felt like the perfect opportunity though to do something so I done started off by putting my arm around him. Rosco didn't seem to mind so that was good and a minute later he leaned his head down onto my shoulder.

Seems like Rosco was making his own moves. I felt myself feeling warm inside at that point and done responded with a light kiss on his forehead. I'm pretty sure he liked that, and I didn't need my powers to tell me that. Rosco was smiling like he hasn't smiled that big before in a long time and he didn't seem to object to me bringing him a little closer in an embrace a couple of seconds later. I was only half paying attention to the movie at that point, I was getting more distracted by Rosco and how handsome he looked.

This was it folks, this was the moment i decided to just go for it. I was getting the feeling Rosco was hoping to make a move himself, but was too nervous and unsure to start anything. It was up to me to start things off then, and frankly I was fine with that. I started things off by putting my hand on his face and bringing him up to face me so i can give him a nice, soft but quick kiss. I reckon Rosco liked it cause he smiled like a boy going to into a candy store and he was blushing too. He returned the favor and I done wrapped both my arms around him as we ended up laying down on the couch, both of us not really paying attention to the movie at this point.

I slipped my hand down his pants shortly afterwards and before we both knew it, we was lying under the covers in my bed 20 minutes later. Naked I might add before i forget. We were cuddling up to each other, just plain forgetting about the rest of the world. It also helped that it was a beautiful lazy day to just relax and do nothing deemed productive. Unless you count having sex productive. Which is most likely the case if you want to make a baby, but there wasn't anyway me and Rosco could do to make one. Not without any outside help at least.

My body must've been feeling pretty lazy as well because I done fell asleep for the next 30 minutes at least. One minute i was resting my head on Rosco's shoulder, next minute I opened my eyes to Rosco gently awaking me while looking apologetic for doing so. I noticed he was sitting up and holding the journal i use to write in.

Well fuck i knew I was forgetting something, I should've put it away in some hiding place before Rosco came over. But I guess in hindsight everything turned out alright, obviously me and Rosco are still together and still madly in love. It could've been worse, Rosco could've run like hell out of there not wanting anything to do with me ever again. And I wouldn't really blame him. To someone who didn't know the existence of people with special abilities, like me, that journal would come off as if some ultra creepy guy was writing it. Someone who really knew how to stalk folk without making anything obvious. A part of me was even expecting him to question if whether or not i was some kind of creep like that, but what he did end up asking surprised me more than if he did reacted like if i was one.

"Hey, sorry for waking you Waylon but uhh, see I have a question here."

"It's alright Rosco, ask away,"

"You're one of them people aren't you?"

"What?" I could see poor old Rosco getting a bit flustered there after I replied, like if he was actually dead wrong with his conclusion and made a fool of himself again. But I tell you folks, and I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this by now, he didn't. He wasn't wrong at all, I just wanted to hear him how he came to the conclusion was all. I smiled at him and done gazed my pretty brown eyes on him to make him feel more at ease and comfortable like.

"Well you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up so I laid here resting when I saw this book out of the corner of my eye on the table over there see and...well I confess curiosity got the best of me. At first I was getting a creepy vibe I admit, but then I read the beginnings of a few adventures you wrote in here. You wrote it like you knew what kinda trouble was headed for Dukes ahead of time. Plus you seems as if you already know who the crooks were and everything before everyone else figured it out, like you were some grade A sleuth. "

"Yep, can't deny that hoss," I replied to that in a matter of factly and encourage him to continue. He was probably wondering why I wasn't jumping too quickly defend myself like a lot of people like me would to. And with good reason too, the majority of the planet don't know that these superhuman powers exist and if you were to tell them you had one, they'll most likely not believe you.

Which isn't to say you shouldn't tell nobody at all, it all comes down to whether or not you trust the

"Yeah, it's pretty strange how much detail you know about all of this stuff, and I was getting more confused than Boss and the concept of charity. But then I remembered, ooh hehehe I remembered reading something in the Atlanta newspaper back when I was getting re-certified about people with superhuman abilities like precognition and whatnot. Back then I wasn't sure if it was just a load of hogwash. I mean no offense but I was kinda erring on the side of just some prank the newspaper was doing."

"Understandable, people like me are pretty rare to come across."

"I can imagine that to be the case. Anyways I did find it interesting enough to read the whole thing, but I didn't really think too much about it afterwards."

"Until now."

"Until now," Rosco confirmed that was case and I couldn't be happier than a dog seeing his owner come back after a day of work to see old Rosco having done figured it out. I sat up and grabbed the book from his hands to put it aside before I pulled him into a kiss and pushing him down so I was on top of him.

"Now the only question is Rosco, what kind of ability do I have? Can you guess?"

"Precognition?"

"Good guess but no, well actually a little bit. Enough to sense and know any trouble coming towards anybody I care about. But that's more of a side effect I reckon, the main one is omniscience. I'm omniscient Rosco."

I swear I could see Rosco's eyes grow bigger with awe at that revelation, then a little bit of confusion set on his face a few seconds later, "Is that where you know everything there is to know about someone?"

I told him yes and he ended up blushing because he must've realized at that point, that meant I knew everything about him. He was feeling pretty insecure that I knew everything, but at the same time I reckon he felt like he could finally just be his true self with someone other than his mom. I also told him that I can turn it off what I want to know and what don't I want to know, which in hindsight makes my life easier. Especially when I'm out singing in front of audiences as I described earlier.

I gave him another kiss before he had a chance to say something, I think Rosco was enjoying kissing me because he would repay the kiss just as passionately as I gave mine and we'll end up spending the next five minutes kissing. Which what we did before Rosco pulled away enough to say whatever he was gonna say.

"You know if Boss knew about this he'll never believe a single word of it."

"I have no doubt about that," I replied to that with a light laugh because it was true, he wouldn't. I have a feeling he'll be real freaked out if I proved it in front of him. Probably even be a little afraid that I would unravel everything I know of him to the public, "I'm impressed how quickly you were able to figure it out, I always knew you are smart."

Rosco done looked at me with surprise at the compliment, "You are? I am? Well course I am, I'm the best sheriff in Hazzard County!"

We both laughed and I gave him a kiss on his cheek, I say old Rosco is feeling real comfortable like with being himself now, "You are and I wish you can show how well you can be to the public."

"I would like too Waylon, I really would, but I've been at it too much for too long. I played the dumb act to survive as you know," I caressed his face there for a few seconds while he was talking, "So um...if you're omniscient, that means you know everything there is to know about someone, but you also appear to know when trouble is coming in that there book of yours. Does that mean you're all seeing too?"

"Only when it comes to trouble coming towards anybody I care about. When I get a sense of trouble all the details just come rushing forward."

"That seems like a helpful power there."

"Hmm yeah it can be, just depends if whoever I'm trying to warn will believe me, which trust me hoss, more people are likely be stubborn to believing someone like me."

I think Rosco could detect the world weary tone I had in my voice there, "So there's cons to this power thing I take it then?"

"Oh yeah, there's pros and cons to every superhuman ability that someone can have."

"That makes sense, so what other abilities are out there?"

"Dreamwalking, precognition, telepathy, telekinesis….those are the ones of the top of my head anyways. Aside from omniscience."

"Have you met other people with the same ability as yours?"

"Yeah I met one or two with omniscience. I met a variety of people like me though. Hell some of them are fans of mine,"

Rosco giggled and flashed that pretty smile of his, and we ended up just lying there content with everything. I was resting on Rosco's shoulder and I had decided to playfully give him kisses on his neck. Did I tell you folks how much I love hearing him moan from pleasure? Well I'm saying it now if I hadn't good way to get him moaning is to gently bite down on his skin and leave a love mark. Which is exactly what I did too. He especially moans whenever I give him a hickey, which is what I did as well.

"I reckon people will freak out more if they saw that book of yours," Rosco was taking a look at the book on the bed. We've been laying content with the world and our situation after 10 minutes of doing the thing just wrapped up in each other's arms. few tangled up in each other arms. I done nod my agreement with him, admittedly the book, as I said before, does come off creepy enough that they might sent me to an institution.

"I have a little safe hidden in my closet that I can put that in. Only you and I will know the combo."

"Oh good, that's good," Rosco was looking at me for a few second with those lovestruck eyes of his, I was feeling the same way too, "I love you Waylon."

"I love you too hoss."

Me and Rosco smiled at each other and we kissed each other again right then and there. We pretty much started dating that night and have been sence. I have to tell you I am the luckiest man in the world, and having someone to love and care done made Rosco feel happier that he isn't alone anymore.

Well folks that's the whole story, Rosco still the only one in Hazzard to know what I can do. I wouldn't be surprise if Luke was the second to figure out though, that boy is damn smart. And life is still going on normally as they would in Hazzard County, which is to say to the rest of the world, might look pretty dang usual. But that's the way I like it, makes life more interesting all the way around don't it? Never know what kind of trouble will come up next in the next week or two.

Y'all come back now you hear? And we all know that I know y'all are planning to so I'll see you then.


End file.
